As mothers, we are constantly being told what we should do. Every day, we consume an endless swirl of advice from social media, articles, parenting accounts, influencers, and experts who seem to have the “right” answer for everything.

What your child should eat. How they should sleep. What developmental activities they need. What you should avoid. What you must prioritize. What you’re doing wrong.

It never ends. And somewhere in the middle of all that noise, we’re expected to stay calm, stay present, follow our intuition, and magically get everything right.

In the early months of motherhood, the weight of these expectations hit me hard. I was overwhelmed by sleep schedules, breastfeeding struggles, routines, milestones, and the invisible checklist of everything a “good” mother was supposed to do. As my daughter grew, the pressures only changed shape — but they didn’t go away.

Was I making her nourishing, organic meals?
Was I narrating my day to her and stimulating her mind every moment?
Was she getting enough fresh air?
Was she getting too much sun?
Was I doing enough?
Was she doing enough?

I ended most days feeling drained. And more often than not, I went to bed convinced I was failing her — not because of what was actually happening, but because of the unrealistic expectations I thought I needed to meet.

The day I realized this, something shifted for me. I understood that I needed to let go. Not just of society’s expectations, but of the quiet, rigid ones I had placed on myself.

Now that my daughter is a toddler, a new truth hit me one evening as I lay in bed replaying the day:
I had fallen right back into the same trap.

This time it wasn’t about baby schedules — it was about toddler routines. I expected her to eat at certain times. To sleep for specific lengths. To eat certain foods to “grow well.” To behave a certain way because “we practiced this.” And every time reality veered from the script — which is every day with a toddler — frustration crept in. I found myself often feeling anxious, irritated, on edge.

News flash: nothing goes as planned with a toddler. I had stopped letting go… without even realizing it. And in doing so, I had drifted away from the present moment. I was so focused on the idea of what the day should look like that I was missing the real day happening right in front of me.

What Happens When We Let Go

Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring. It doesn’t mean chaos, or lack of structure, or “giving up.” It means releasing the unrealistic picture in your head and responding to what’s actually happening in front of you. It means softening instead of tightening. It means choosing presence instead of pressure. It means remembering your child is human — not a robot.

When I started letting go again, my days began to change: If she only eats blueberries for dinner? I let it go. She won’t starve. One meal doesn’t define her nutrition.

If she wakes up at 6 a.m. instead of 7? I let it go. We adjust the day and move forward.

If she refuses the breakfast I thoughtfully prepared? I let it go. Some days I’m not hungry at 8 a.m. either.

Living this way has taught me that children are like us — full of ever-changing needs, moods, preferences, and rhythms. And forcing their bodies or minds into a rigid plan only creates stress for everyone involved.

Letting Go Actually Makes Us Better Mothers

When we let go of the pressure, we gain…

✔ More patience

Because we’re no longer fighting a losing battle with “should.”

✔ More presence

Because we’re not distracted by the mental script of the “perfect” day.

✔ More compassion

For our children and for ourselves.

✔ More flexibility

Which leads to more peaceful days.

✔ More genuine connection

Because we’re responding to our children, not reacting to our expectations.

Letting go is not giving up control — it’s choosing peace. It’s choosing the real moment over the imagined one.

The Hidden Stress Behind Most “Bad Days”

More often than not, the source of our stress isn’t our children. It’s not their behavior or their mood or their needs.

It’s:

• the pressure we’re carrying
• the unrealistic expectations we’re holding
• outside influences telling us what “good mothers” do or what “good children” do
• our own mental pictures of how the day should go
• the invisible list we feel we must check off
• the fear of falling behind

When we release that pressure — even a little — everything relaxes. Our voice. Our shoulders. Our reactions. Our home. Our children. They feel the shift too.

Children are deeply intuitive. They pick up on tension, impatience, rushing, and overwhelm. Letting go isn’t just for us — it’s for them.

Let Life Be What It Is

Let go of what you think your life should look like. Let go of the timelines. Let go of the pictures you’ve painted in your head. Let go of the pressure to get every moment “right.”

Something softer, calmer, and more meaningful is waiting underneath. The next time you feel that tightness — that anxious grip — ask yourself: what expectation am I holding onto right now?

Then… can I let it go? Even a little? Even for today? Because you deserve peace. Your children deserve a relaxed, present version of you. And motherhood becomes so much more beautiful when we stop trying to control every moment.

Let it go. And let yourself breathe again.