It was another rainy day. I wanted to find something to keep Jojo and I entertained. We decided to walk along the shopping street near us and look for decorations that we could put around our new house. Before we got fully inside the first store, Jojo immediately walked out. When we were finally inside, she started removing everything off the shelves and throwing them to the ground. I tried a few different tactics to teach her what is respectful in a store. Nothing was working.

The same thing happened at the next store and the next. What was supposed to be a fun exploring day turned into another round of stress and negative statements I try to avoid. On top of that, I couldn’t help but ask myself, is Jojo even having fun? 

Our neighborhood bakery is on the way home, a perfect way to redeem what was left of the morning. We made a quick stop to get two croissants for lunch. This quickly boosted both of our spirits. At the baker, they give children little buns of bread. Jojo was excited to pick hers out. As we were walking back home, I thought it might be a good opportunity to encourage taking turns. I asked for a small bite of the bun, she shook her head no and pulled it away. I asked again and the same thing happened. I asked a third time, not sure what to do from there after she said no again. I decided to let it go and told her I understood she wanted to eat her bun and it’s okay if she doesn’t want to give Mommy any. I also said that if she changes her mind, I would love a bite. 

We walked a few more minutes and I felt myself depleting more. I felt like a failure in trying to teach a lesson and getting nowhere. I felt lost at what was the right thing to do in that situation and wondering if anything I’m doing as a mother is right. Suddenly, I felt something brush my cheek. When I looked over, my sweet girl was looking up at me smiling and holding the bun up to my mouth. It was the sweetest moment and something I will forever cherish. I excitedly took a bite and told her thank you. From my reaction, her smile grew even bigger and she let out a satisfied little grunt. 

She shared three more bites with me the rest of the way home. 

Reflection

Moments like this mean the world. Pocket them whenever they happen because they are what can help you get through the harder times. It’s also a good reminder that our children are just tiny little people who at the end of the day, want to please you. It made it even more special that Jojo decided to give me a bite after walking a bit because it showed she thought about it and it became HER choice to give me some. Not something that was forced.

It’s also a great example that children want to be good, sometimes they just need a little help in learning how. When children upset us with choices they make (such as throwing things on the ground in a store), it can be hard to look past that. But we have to. As parents, we need to be the bigger person. We need to remember that they are just trying to learn about the world. And it’s our job to teach them while empathetically enforcing appropriate boundaries. If they aren’t put in situations that challenge what they know about the world, they will never learn. Every time you take them to a store or out to eat at a restaurant, they are learning about appropriate behavior. Stay calm and push through. Remember that the work you put in now, will only make life better for you (and them) in the future. It’ll all be worth it.