I’ve never been healthier than when I was pregnant. And for good reason too. But it got me thinking. Why do we put healthy habits in place only when another’s life is at stake? When I was making all these healthy changes, I took a step back and asked myself why I hadn’t done them earlier. Why wasn’t my body alone good enough to push me to want to be as healthy as I could be?

A baby growing inside you is sacred. But so are you. You are all you have. Making these changes showed me how much I was neglecting my own health. And for what? It must have come down to self-love. As soon as I found out there was a baby growing inside of me, I loved it immediately. Unconditionally. I wanted to do everything in my power to take care of it. Unfortunately, I can’t say I’ve always felt the same about my own body.

I’ve listed below a few changes pregnancy forced me to make. Changes I still carry with me and wished I had done sooner.

1. Love yourself

Every stretch mark, ounce of fat, and minor blemish. Nothing humbles you more than a pregnant or postpartum body. Especially when you’re 26 and all your friends still have perky boobs that don’t start leaking when they laugh. Having your body change so drastically is hard at any age or stage of your life. As women, we are constantly competing with new trends, societal pressures, filters, social media, and more. My biggest battle has always been with myself from the damage all these outside influences have done to me over the years. I have always been my hardest critic. A perfectionist in everything I do, including how I look. Pregnancy hit me upside the head. So many things were suddenly out of my control in terms of appearance. The only thing that mattered was using my body to grow a healthy baby.

Looking back now, it was the best reset I could have asked for. It was exactly what I needed. It made me look at my body in a whole new way. Those stretch marks on my breasts? That’s from feeding another human. Or the way my hips have rounded out more than they used to? That’s from my body making room to carry a new life. For the first time in my life, I was amazed by my body, imperfections and all. I had grown and nurtured a baby. That is incredible. Practicing gratitude helped a lot in getting me to this point. Some mornings, I would feel disappointed looking in the mirror. When that happened, I would mentally thank a few different parts of my body for all that they do. I realized my body was more than just what was on the outside. Below the surface is where the real magic happens.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Love your body for the powerful, beautiful being it is. 

2. Move your body for the right reasons

You don’t have to do exhausting workouts to live a healthy life. As long as you’re moving your body in some way, you are helping yourself. I’ve always been big on exercise. There have been times in my life where I would go to the gym twice a day. I became obsessed with it, all for the wrong reasons. I cared more about how I looked than how my body felt. After becoming pregnant, a lot of the workouts I was doing prior were no longer safe. I had to completely switch what I was doing: more stretching, walking, and yoga … less HIIT, sprints, and complete overexertion. Funny enough, I felt ten times better. I had more energy throughout the day and my body didn’t have random aches and pains all the time. Plus, I was still strong and capable which has always been important to me.

My workouts became more about what my body was telling me than how much weight I needed to lose. Some days, I would just go for a long walk whereas before, it would be an all or nothing situation. I didn’t see a walk as being good enough which lead to negative self-talk if I missed a day.

Taking care of yourself means exercising regularly in ways that heal your body. Workouts that make you stronger without tearing you apart. Listen to what your body is telling you and appreciate it every day.

3. Filter out negativity in your life: people and things

Naturally when you’re pregnant, you often hear “stress is bad for the baby.” That alone stresses you out. But it really made me take a step back and try to see what was causing me the most stress in my life. Some stressors aren’t fully in our control. However, most of the time, it is things we can change: daily routines, the news channel you turn on every morning, a friendship, pressures you put on yourself, etc.

A big stressor for me was work. I cared so much about my performance and always carried that stress with me after hours. And for what? Nothing. The stress didn’t change anything or make me better at my job. When I got pregnant, I knew I needed to find a way to block this out. I started telling myself different sayings and affirmations over and over again such as you did your best today, it can wait until tomorrow, you are not your job. Jobs change, but we always only have ourselves. Stress not only effects us mentally but also physically. It’s not worth taking that on over something as trivial as your job. You can still work hard and succeed with limits in place. I started to put limits on myself and immediately noticed a positive change in my overall happiness. I enjoyed dinners with my husband, without work in the back of my mind. I ignored late night pings if they weren’t urgent. After all, it could wait until tomorrow. I had a boss who was a strong advocate of this. If he saw me working late one night, he would say, “we aren’t saving lives” (I worked in marketing). In other words, it’s just a job. He taught me a lot about working hard but making sure to still live your life in the meantime.

Stress can also come from who you spend your time with which is why it’s important to surround yourself with the right people. People have such a big impact on us. Do a deep dive into your friendships and other relationships. Are they making you a better person? Do you make them a better person? If not, it might be time to reevaluate. Similarly with your daily routines. If you’re waking up stressed, what can you do to fix this? I try to wake up at least an hour before my daughter does. This gives me a quiet house to center myself and prepare for the day. It’s not always possible, but when it is, it makes a huge difference for me. These small changes go a long way.

4. Live a healthier life

I’ve always eaten relatively healthy, but I hadn’t taken the time and effort to make sure I was getting a variety of nutrients. I was more concerned about not gaining weight rather than fueling my body. After becoming pregnant, however, I started researching all the foods my baby needed to grow. Immediately, I added them to my diet, no questions asked. I quickly realized how much I’d been neglecting my own health. Omega 3, folate, vitamin D, the list goes on and on. Yes, they are crucial for growing a healthy baby, but they’re just as crucial for maintaining a healthy body for you too. I should have been putting just as much nutritional effort into my own body pre-pregnancy as I was to growing my baby.

The same goes for sleep. I love waking up early, but I’m not always the best at going to sleep at a good hour. Plus, my anxiety keeps me awake a lot of the night thinking about random stuff I need to get done or events for the week. Sleep is extremely important when you are pregnant, so naturally I made it a priority then. However, it’s crucial for your own health and overall wellbeing too. It should always be a priority. It also goes hand in hand with removing unnecessary stressors to give you more peace to sleep.

Last but not least, a healthier life also applies to things you are using on a daily basis. When I became pregnant, I started looking into ingredients in products I used such as shampoo, face wash, and deodorant. I was shocked to see what ingredients were in some of them, including carcinogens. How had I not looked into this before? It doesn’t stop there either. This applies to household cleaners, appliances, and more. Be aware of what you are putting into your body or coming into contact with at all times.

5. Do more of what makes you happy

Life’s too short to waste time on things that don’t bring you joy. A big problem I had before pregnancy was always saying yes to things, even when I had no desire in going. I would end up leaving the event exhausted, burnt out, or worse. Why did I say yes in the first place if I knew it would have zero benefit for me? I’m not quite sure. A big factor was that I didn’t want to let others down. Going back to being a perfectionist, I wanted to always do the “right” thing. I cared so much about what other people thought of me. After getting pregnant, I physically couldn’t do as much due to exhaustion, being uncomfortable, and the fact that it would be weird to show up to a nightclub 30 weeks pregnant. I finally had a valid excuse that people couldn’t argue with. I finally had a reason that made it okay to say no.

When invited to do something or go somewhere, I would ask myself: will it make me happy or add to my life in a positive way? The more I started to weigh if I wanted to do something, the more I realized how much I had been doing things just because I felt like I had to. I didn’t even know what made me truly happy anymore.

Through pregnancy, I learned to say no more. I learned that it’s okay to admit when you’re not okay or you don’t want to do something. People will understand, and if they don’t, that’s on them. You need to put yourself first. Now, that doesn’t mean you should never show up for others or only do what you want. But it’s important to know your limits and make sure you have a healthy balance of what you are saying yes to. Put out into the world what you are hoping to get back. And never forget to listen to your body if it needs a break.

A good exercise is to write down at least 5 things that make you happy. From having your morning coffee to going on vacation, it can be as big or small as you like. Look at your list. Are you doing these things on a regular basis (if possible)? If not, what can you change in your life to make more time for these things?

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These revelations have continued after pregnancy, even as my daughter grows up. They can be applied to how we care for our children too. We limit their screen time, yet put no boundaries on ourselves to cut back on social media, TV shows, and more. We put them on sleep schedules, limit their sugar intake, make them eat balanced meals, ensure they are being kind to everyone, don’t let them talk poorly of others, but do we do the same with ourselves?

Don’t wait to become pregnant or have children to change your life. If you’ve already been there, it’s never to late to start making a positive difference for yourself. Value your body the same way you would your own baby. Take care of it. Make conscious choices to better it. And love it unconditionally, no matter what stage of life you are in.